Pandora: Lumley to go down in the history books

Author: By Alice-Azania Jarvis

Now we hear that the crusade is to be immortalised in a new book offering a “definitive” study of the servicemen, to be penned by esteemed historian Chris Bellamy.

“I plan to go right up to the present day with it,” Bellamy tells us. “Including the story of Joanna Lumley’s campaign for justice for the Gurkhas. That’s what’s prompted the idea for the book. They approached me about it because, during my studies of Russia, the thread to India kept recurring and the position of the Gurkhas defending the North-West Frontier. So it leads on from my previous work.”

If all goes according to plan, says Bellamy, the book should be ready to go on sale by the autumn of next year. As for whether or not Ms Lumley is to contribute to the work herself, that would appear to be very much an open question.

“At the moment I haven’t had an indication that she wants to be involved,” says Bellamy. “But if she decided she would like to, I’d be delighted.”

All eyes on the office fox

Confusion abounded at the urban outpost of the Countryside Alliance (in the not-so-leafy surrounds of Kennington, Saaf London), following a rogue fox infiltration yesterday afternoon. We’re told that the little critter startled staff by scampering suddenly into the office, before running around the desks and then shooting out shortly afterwards. “Unfortunately no one here had any hounds around to chase him with,” harrumphs our tweed-clad informer. Tally-ho!

Not a lorra bus rides for Cilla

Not for our Cilla the plebeian practice of obtaining a pensioners’ bus pass. Ms Black ? now several years north of 60 ? insists that she has little use for such tokens.

“My son wanted me to get it so he could have it framed and hang it on the wall,” she tells Woman’s Own. “The truth is, I’ve never been on a London bus, and I’ve never travelled on the Underground.”

Don’t worry, Cilla ? we wouldn’t either if we owned homes in London, Buckinghamshire, Spain and Barbados.

“And I’m thinking of buying in Miami,” she adds. Look out!

Don’t mention happy hour, Dave

“We need to look at the unbelievable availability of very cheap drink,” a solemn David Cameron was heard murmuring during a meeting with police officers this week. “We’ve got to do something.” Of course, it’s not the first time Mr Cameron has explored the cheap booze market. Why, he used to receive several thousand pounds a year as a non-executive director of Urbium, the bar-management company which owns, among others, the happy-hour-loving chain Tiger Tiger. Bottoms up!

Comedy’s a bit of a headache for Kane

Russell Kane’s appearance at this year’s Edinburgh Festival represents a heftier achievement than we first thought. The chipper comedian tells us he almost didn’t make it after an unfortunate fainting spell. “I’d nearly passed out, stood up too quickly and head-butted the table. The blood was pouring out and I had to have glue put in the cut, so I couldn’t go on stage. It looked really gooey.” Happily, Kane only had to cancel one performance due to his injury ? and has planned an additional Edinburgh night to make up for it.

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