Break ups are always difficult, but sometimes it is the right choice. If you are the one that is ending the relationship, you should know the best way to handle things so that there is no animosity afterwards. The things you say (and the things you don’t say) will be the deciding factor on how things end regardless of how long you have been together.
The first mistake a lot of people make is discussing their plan to end the relationship with their friends or family before they talk to their significant other. If word of your plan gets back to the person you’re seeing, it will only lead to resentment that you weren’t honest with them from the start. There is no point in waiting around for the perfect time because there is never a good time to break up. The best thing to do is just to handle it as soon as you’ve made the decision. Pick a neutral, public place where you can still have a quiet, private conversation.
It is never okay to break up with someone using a voice mail or text. Even though you are ending it the other person has a right to an explanation, and a face to face ending. Failing to do this can prevent closure and may make it more difficult for your soon to be ex to move on. Make sure they understand that this is hard for both of you, and that you regret things did not work out in the relationship.
Do not be negative or place blame. Use logic and explain how you feel, without turning it into a long drawn out monologue. Make sure that you are clear in your intention to move on, and that there is no chance that this will change. Sometimes an individual may not want to cause pain so they are not crystal clear about what they want, and this can leave the other party hanging on. That also means no late night calls or a convenient roll in the hay after the break up no matter how you may be tempted.
Make plans with friends for the evening after you have finished the conversation with your ex. This will help to keep your mind off of the break up. It’s often best to do this on a weekend to give your ex some time to recover before they have to go back to work or school. However, if you know they are a person that would do better with something to keep them busy, this may not be true.
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Author: Jamie StoeckerThis author has published 1 articles so far.