The Weekend Hot Sheet — Wii Shoppers and Unlikely Rock Band/Guitar Hero Innovations

What’s the Hot Sheet? It’s our new recurring feature wherein your lovely editorial team attempts to be funny and presents interesting (hopefully?) data to you, our lovely readers.

On the weekends we’ll feature various snapshots of what games, game products, and pre-orders people are buying on Why Amazon? Because it’s very easy to find and collect! And because you didn’t pipe up in the meeting when we talked about this. I don’t care if your Outlook reminder didn’t pop up, it’s your responsibility to be there.

Ahem.  Anyways, on with the Sheet. The sales appetizer:’s Top 10 Wii Bestsellers, As of 4:40PM, 6/26/09

Fitness routines, golf, tennis, go-karts, music camp…Wii owners are definitely on summer vacation. EA’s first two MotionPlus games are setting the table for Wii Sports Resort later in July. Here’s hoping Punch-Out and Ghostbusters stick around for a while longer!

1. Wii Fit
2. EA Sports Active
3. Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10
4. Mario Kart Wii
5. Wii Music
6. Wii Play
7. EA Sports Grand Slam Tennis
8. The Conduit
9. Punch-Out!!
10. Ghostbusters: The Video Game

Ready for the main course?

The 10 Remaining Rock Band/Guitar Hero Innovations

Now that we’ve tapped the greatest band in the world (Van Halen, duh), got our DLC systems up and running, hit most of the major instruments and guitar body types, what’s left to do with Guitar Hero and Rock Band?

1) Plastic Girlfriend On Plastic Boyfriend’s Shoulders
It’s a $300 peripheral and you won’t be able to see anything, but activating star power will make her flash your television. Will also fall off when hit by a beer bottle.

2) Pot Smell Generator
To be used in conjunction with third-party smoke machines and Pink Floyd DLC. Not responsible for police searches based on reasonable cause.

3) Guitar Hero: Opening Band
Featuring an amazing setlist of songs that conveniently fade out after 30 seconds so you can go to the bathroom and get a new beer.

4) $5 Bottle of Water
A pre-order "bonus" included with Rock Band: Festival, a live-track only edition with a Boktai-style sun sensor that only activates the game when the temperature is above 90 degrees.

5) 50-Minute Wait Between Changing Setlists
To not only build dramatic tension for the next act, but an opportunity to beat your high score on the new roadie guitar-tuning & microphone check mini-game.

6) Virtual Performer Meltdowns
In most cases, yelling enough taunts or obnoxious requests into the microphone will cause the game to stop, and the characters will walk off the stage for 5 minutes. During Cat Power songs, this will occur randomly and she won’t come back.

7) Mosh Pit Simulator
We’ll have to wait for Project Natal to come out, but the potential here is exciting.

8) iPhone App That Calls Best Friend During "Your" Song
Apps like Shazam can easily identify songs, so why not take it to the next step and have it auto-dial Jenny when you play "Dirty Little Secret" because omg that was such an awesome summer!

9) Ticketmaster Convenience Charges
You know, I’m not even going to joke about this, because I can actually see them trying to get a piece of the action.

10) Guy Next To You Singing Off-Key Recognition
It happens in your living room just as much as it does at live shows — uses Beatles: Rock Band tech to recognize any amateur back-up singers and boosts the volume so that it’s all you can hear.




(Oh, one last thing: it’s okay if you don’t laugh. In fact, you don’t even have to tell us about it in the comments section. You can just continue on with your life as if it had no effect!)

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