As human beings we are attracted to people who walk their talk. We naturally learn to trust such people. As for the other kind, that is, those who don’t walk their talk, we have little time for them.
Consider then your current behavior in your parent teenager relationship. As a parent, do you walk your talk? Or are you a walking contradiction?
If as a parent, you lack integrity, your parent teenager relationship will be seriously challenged.
Am I saying then that you as a parent, needs to be perfect or near so? Of course not, provided you are someone who is coach able. To be coach able means that you have the attitude and practice of listening, learning, changing and growing. In action it means owning up to your mistakes in front of your teenager and making a sincere effort to make amends.
This life journey requires enormous courage, patience, commitment and maturity.
Remember that your teenager has a highly sensitive inbuilt BS detector. So any attempt to ‘put it over’ your teenager will cause you to be caught out with ‘egg on your face’.
Keep reading for a list of ten in congruent behaviors that may be blocking the natural development of your parent teenager relationship.
1. You are staring out of the window when you tell your teenager that you love them.
2. You insist that your teen be respectful when they speak to their mother. However your words lose their power when your teen catches you name calling their mum.
3. You determine to lay down the law regarding curfew. However your teenager is not impressed when you fail to come home from a party until midday the next day.
4. You insist that your teenager be loyal to their friends whilst you are cheating on their mother.
5. You get frustrated because your teenager has not paid back money that you lent them two years ago yet you get angry because the tax office is seeking unpaid taxes.
6. You admonish your teenager for experimenting with drugs but you are a chain smoker.
7. You push your teenager to eat healthy but you insist on drinking Coca Cola every day.
8. You disallow your teenager from borrowing your car because they got a speeding fine. At the same time, you have already incurred three speeding fines this year.
9. You insist that your teen always tell the truth yet they overhear you telling a white lie to get through Customs.
10. You tell your teenager to be persistent yet you have held five jobs in the past three years.
Applying these ten statements to your parent teenager relationship, what was your result? If four or more of these statements describe you, you may have some serious integrity issues. This may be impacting on the difficulty your teenager has in taking your advice to heart.
The way forward? Commit to listening, learning, changing and growing to become the kind of person and parent that your conscience is gently guiding you to become.
Do you miss the days when your teenwas about ten years old and you could have a proper conversation with him? Do you wonder why it is so damn hard now to say anything without receiving some attitude? If this sounds like you, but you know there must be a better way to cultivate your parent teenrelationship , grab parenting guruPaul Saver’s seven FREE parenting videos.
Author: Paul G SaverThis author has published 3 articles so far.