The Top 5 Premiership Flops

by Bryan Catfish

There have been some shocking players in the Premiership, haven’t there? We tend to think of your Ronaldos, your Berbatovs, and all those great players down the years such as Cantona, Bergkamp et al. But who can forget these numpties? Here’s my top 5 Premiership flops…

5. Marco Boogers: Now this guy was hilarious. God knows where West Ham found him – well in fact, we do know – they found him on a trailer park and they paid him loads of money to play one match – almost kill someone – get sent off and walk back to the dressing room looking like Thomas Gravesen on acid. Brilliant. What a fool.

4. Tomas Brolin: It’s sad to think of Brolin – but he does tend to be thought of as a “before” and “after” player – in other words – before he came to Leeds, he was one of the world’s greatest footballers. After he went to Leeds, he was a fat waster that not even Crystal Palace could put up with for more than a couple of months. What did he do? Go out on the lash with Lee Bowyer? It’s so sad – he cost 4.5m and repaid absolutely none of it. Useless.

3. Andrea Silenzi: Everyone thought that Silenzi would be the revival of Nottingham Forest, but the overgrown Italian turned out to be an overpaid waste of space and lost his place in the team to a man whose head looked like a pineapple. Of course, this was back in the days when English managers thought that any Italian would be an improvement on their team, so the signing of Silenzi proved to be something of a watershed in English football.

2. Jean-Alain Boumsong: This must be a joke, yes? Jean-Alain Boumsong, so bad that he looks like his manager has made him sit in a swivel chair, rotated him 100 times and sent him out onto the pitch for a dare, signs for Juventus? After being rotten for Newcastle 92 minutes out of 90 every week? This is amazing.

1. Ali Dia: So funny that the story of Ali Dia should be incorporated in the National Anthem, and serves as a stark reminder to any club chairman that hiring Graeme Souness can be horribly, horribly bad for your club’s health. It’s strange to think that Souness kept walking into jobs even before this debacle, especially as he had mangled Liverpool beforehand. Ali Dia, to cut a long story short, was not the cousin of George Weah, but some scammer who convinced the aforementioned Scot that he was great. So without watching him play, Souness throws him on as a substitute, and then hauls him off. Hilarious.

Think you can find anyone worse than this load of rubbish? Give me a shout!

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