If someone has betrayed or hurt you then forgiving is going to be one of the hardest things to do. However, doing so will allow you to get over it and the benfits of this are outlined below.
Many of us have been or may well be hurt at some point in our lives. In todays world nobody is perfect and it is very rare for someone to go through life not having felt the deep pain of being wronged. From something as hurtful as a marriage breakdown, to not getting an invite to the party of the year, these feelings are now part of our everyday lives.
Dealing with hurt
Each time we are hurt we are faced with the question of what do we do with the hurt, how to we process it and how will it affect our lives in the future. When it comes to forgiving and understanding its power and importance perhaps it easier to look at what it is not to forgive, than it is to be forgiving.
What is it to be unforgiving?
The main reason we choose not to forgive somone is that it is somehow construed as a let off. There are many hideous crimes going on in the world and how could we possibly forgive them? However we do not really understand what we are doing when we forgive. Thoughts and feelings are left behind and the choices we make can directly affect which of these feelings we keep in our minds.
The dangers of not letting go of the past.
If you cannot forgive then you will only hold on to those self-harming feelings of bitterness, anger and betrayal. I say self-harming because that is exactly what these feelings can be when you hold on to them long after the original event. They can hold you back from moving on and ultimately will just leave you feeling miserable day in day out.
A True Story.
One of my clients told me once about what she did when she discovered that her husband was leaving her for a younger woman. They had been married 30 years and although it brought her much sadness rather than try to punish her husband for what he was doing, she told him honestly that she wanted him to be happy. An incredibly hard thing to do and it was certainly not for her husbands benefit. It was for her own as she’d rather not spend years of misery dwelling on what had happened. She decided she did not want to be left with a bitter heart because of what he had done and so through her love for her spiritual self she realised the best way forward was to forgive.
Understanding our affects on others.
Being forgiving is also about us realising the fact that we too have hurt people. It may be you that is hurt right now but looking back to the past you will discover that you may have disappointed or let someone down too. In forgiving other people you are allowing yourself to forgive yourself! This can be said as more often than not you will judge others as you will judge yourself.
Delving deep into your heart.
There can be no mistaking the tremendous amount of will it takes to forgive. But it is far better to use your energy this way than to be feeling bitter and angry. These fellings will leave you with nothing. The most important thing when faced with pain and hurt is to reach out from your heart and grasp the liberating power that forgiveness will bring and your mind body and spirit will be free to live a new life.
Author: Origin PsychicsThis author has published 1 articles so far.