How to Deal with Rejection

by Paul Smith

Being rejected is of course a big disappointment and a fear that can do some of our greatest damage to us. When dealing with dating matters, rejection is a subject never very far away. When someone rejects you, you feel yourself small, worthless, insecure and unwanted. You lose your confidence and want to crawl into your shells until you feel stronger again. Being rejected hurts, whoever we are.

All of us want to be loved and to be popular. It makes us feel good about ourselves. Rejection comes in many forms, from a partner being unfaithful to a loved one moving out or calling off a relationship for good.

The way we handle rejection is important in helping us keep our self esteem and dignity. When we are rejected we often want to go crazy and blame ourselves for being rejected when the reality is it’s usually the other person’s problem, not ours. Being rejected hurts. The person you entrusted with hopes, desires and feelings has turned round and said that they don’t want personal involvement with you. When this happens you immediately move into blame mode.

We must remember that rejection is the curse, confidence is the cure. If you feel good about yourself then you know some truths about yourself too. You know if you are good at your job, if you are organized, well dressed, in shape etc. You don’t need to worry about what other people think about you to feel happy about yourself which in turn means that if a date doesn’t go well or someone simply doesn’t like you then, well, we can’t all please everyone can we.

Rejection can make you stronger. It is a useful process because it also allows us to learn about ourselves. When someone doesn’t like you they should say so. When they don’t intend to see you again then say so. If they are not going to call then they should admit it. There is nothing more refreshing on a single date that either party being honest and saying that they would prefer to leave it there. When we are lied to, the feeling of rejection is compounded.

You can take rejection positively. You will get to know your weaknesses and find ways of keeping your perspective open, your realism levels in tact, your humor great and your confidence bubbling then rejection will wash over you from time to time easier than if you do.

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