Problems with Commitment

by Ada Denis

It’s easy to be in a relationship but some times it needs commitment and it takes a lot of work. There needs to be a joint effort on both sides in order to make it go smoothly in good times and bad times. When you finally think you have “the one” you start wondering if they feel the same way about you. As the relationship progresses you want to move forward by either moving in together or possibly getting married.

Everybody has a different time frame in their mind to which they feel a more solid commitment should occur. Commitment is a point which should come after dating someone exclusively for two years. By then both partners should be thinking about what the next step will be. But what do you do when you feel your partner isn’t at that point yet? You need to ask them directly.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to know where you stand. But, be prepared for an honest answer. It may not be what you want to hear. There are lots of reasons people do not want to commit. They might not feel your relationship has reached that level yet. If you’ve been arguing lately, that may have something to do with it. Or they may feel money is an issue. Some people like to make their career before taking their relationship to a serious level. They may want to make sure they’re in a good financial position too.

Some people who wish to be further committed, give their partner an ultimatum. They might give them a timeline in which to move forward. If their partner does not agree and move forward by that point, they let them know in advance that the relationship will be over and they will need to move on. This isn’t always the best way to tackle this issue. Their partner may be angry and not appreciate this ultimatum. The pressure they face due to this may push the couple further apart. On the other hand, if you’ve been dating for a long period of time and things don’t seem to be going anywhere, this might be your only alternative. You know your partner very well and you should decide what is better so opinions of other people while discussing commitment should not matter for you.

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